We may dream of having our own business or a career path that is laid out to get us as far as we can; however, our fear of failure often gets in our way. We start to doubt ourselves or compare ourselves to others. That negative self-talk starts saying in our heads that we are not good enough, don't have what it takes, or will never succeed.
Fear and doubt increase negative self-talk. Our focus changes from what we can achieve to what can go wrong or what if things don't work out. This negative talk leads to procrastination as we take our eyes off our goals and stop completing the actions that would help us to move forward. We put it off until later that day, then later that week, to next month and eventually never. All that procrastination does is lead us to miss golden opportunities by missing deadlines and completing shoddy or rushed work leading to losing clients and a damaged reputation.
We start to feel like a failure; we can't do anything right, and our self-doubt gets stronger making it more and more challenging to concentrate on anything. This is the self-sabotage cycle; it is a horrendous feeling when you are stuck in it, and it increasingly becomes difficult to break free.
It is important to remember that you are not alone; so many others are in the same position. So many people, whether running their own business or at a certain point in their career, fall into this cycle. The good thing is, there are ways you can break free; try these tips to start you on the road to breaking your self-sabotage cycle.
Step 1 - Reframe Your Negative Self-Talk.
You have to remember you would never talk to a friend the way you speak to yourself in your mind. You may never even talk to someone you do not like that badly. Therefore, you must be kind to yourself and be compassionate, understand that building a business or a career is complicated, and obstacles will always get in your way; however, how you deal with these matters. Begin by asking yourself, what evidence is there that you need to improve or cannot succeed? Write all of your answers down. Now write down all the reasons you know you can achieve and evidence these by reviews, testimonials, or even verbal feedback you have had from others. You will be surprised how the positives outweigh the negatives.
Step 2 - Cultivate Positive Habits.
By building a daily routine incorporating self-care practices, you will find that your negative self-talk begins to subside, and your positive vibes increase. This can take time, so the sooner you start, the better. Self-care is a personal thing, as the name suggests. Therefore, you need to find practices that benefit you. To give you some pointers, here are some of mine. Listen to music anywhere, anytime, precisely the type of songs that get your body moving, and you start to sing or hum without trying. Meditation or mindfulness can be a fantastic way of grounding and relaxing your mind and body. Journaling is a great way to get negative thoughts out of your head and, specifically, a brain dump where you write down everything that comes into your mind for 5 or 10 minutes and then destroy it without looking at it.
Step 3 – Self-Awareness
This to meet is a person's greatest superpower; I do not say this lightly. If you learn to understand your emotions, get to know what triggers you to think in specific ways and how this affects your behaviour. You then understand how to manage your own emotions. Learning to manage your emotions makes it so much easier for you to understand why others act the way they do and how you can deal with their emotions. This enables you to improve your relationships and communication with those around you.
Step 4 – Ask for Help
Self-sabotage affects us more when we try to deal with everything life throws at us alone; no one has to do this. Reach out to those closest to you, family, friends, colleagues, or anyone you feel would be an excellent person to talk to. Opening up and explaining how you are thinking and feeling can be such a relief in itself. You will know who will be able to help once you ask. Networking can be a great place to meet others in a similar career or business, and you may find you have more in common with those you meet there than you imagined.
Step 5 – Celebrate Progress
Too often, we need to remember all our achievements as we focus on the things that do not work out. No matter how small these are, each one will take you a step closer to achieving the outcome you are striving for. Obstacles or setbacks are a natural part of life; when you overcome them, celebrate the fact that you have moved forward. See all obstacles as opportunities to allow you to grow. If you achieve something you either failed at previously or completed a task you never believed you could, celebrate and acknowledge how much you have grown.
In conclusion, we have to understand that overcoming. Self-sabotage will be like a marathon and not a 100m sprint. Stay committed to achieving your outcome by surpassing every goal you set for yourself. Be compassionate, kind and understanding when things do not always go your way. Your drive, passion, motivation, and desire to succeed will ensure you overcome this. Our lives are like a book that is only partly finished; the future chapters are still to be written, and we all have the resources inside us to be able to write them the way we want. Sometimes we may need guidance to help point us in the right direction.
If you feel that you cannot do this alone, contact me and let's chat and discuss how we can get you back on the right path to being more confident and reaching your desired outcome.
Tony Gordon
Mindset Consultant and Hypnotherapist
www.changingyourmindltd.com
tonygordon@changingyourmindltd.com
https://linktr.ee/acdg1
I am a certified wellbeing practitioner and coach, helping my clients achieve their personal and professional goals. The essence of my work is to facilitate self-growth by helping you identify the core challenges and obstacles in your life, so that you can overcome them with confidence. I specialise in creating personalised plans and providing tools to guide you forward to achieve your desired goals.
