Maybe you decided you wanted to train for a 5k, 10k race or maybe a marathon, only to be reminded that you’re not athletic and quit on the last few things you tried. Or, maybe you wanted to start a business, only to be told that most businesses fail, or what do you know, why should anyone listen to you? Then you’re told you shouldn’t bother because you don’t have any business experience.
Life is full of critics. The more you try to accomplish, you will find, the more people you’ll have trying to stop you in one way or another; this, sadly, is the way of the world; fortunately, this is something you can learn to deal with and use to motivate and drive you forward with your life.
Give these ideas a try to overcome the critics and get you on the path to living your best life:
Understand the real reason behind their criticism. When you try to be more than you are, it makes some people in your life uncomfortable it even turns them into green-eyed monsters, full of jealousy. They’re used to you being a certain way. It also bothers them that you might become successful while they’re too afraid to take any chances to change. No one wants to justify their own mediocrity, so they attack anyone being successful instead.
Do your best to avoid reacting. I know this can be easier said than done. However, people are only rewarded for trying to hold you back if you let it get to you or you quit or get upset. Sticking to your plan and avoiding responding emotionally, this will annoy them. Therefore, just ignore them and keep on moving forward.
Consider keeping your big plans to yourself. While many success gurus recommend announcing your grand plans to the world to hold yourself accountable, studies show that this hurts more people than it helps. When you let the world know what you want to accomplish, the critics crawl out of the woodwork. Take it from me, as I have fallen foul of this on more than one occasion. I understand you get excited about your fantastic idea, only to find others say they don't think it will work, for you only to find that with a couple of minor changes, they take your ideas and run with them as their own work.
Avoid dwelling on the criticism. There’s no reason to sit around and stew over it. all you will be doing is using up your valuable energy, which would be better utilised working on your plan. Wherever possible Let the criticism go and put your attention on something that is either useful or enjoyable.
Consider where the criticism is coming from. What I mean by that is, if it was Stephen King who has something to say about your horror novel, you’d be wise to listen. If your Uncle Joe, the plumber, criticises your plans for being an accountant, why would you listen? Always check where the critics are from and evaluate if their opinion is worth investing your time and energy.
Find the right people to “criticise” you. Finding the right critics is essential. This sounds like a contradiction, but hear me out. These are often referred to as “mentors, coaches or at least an expert in their field.” Find an expert willing to look at what you’re doing and provide helpful advice; this is constructive criticism. Which is feedback that is provided in order to benefit you, it will be specific ways which will help you to improve. The right coach can save you energy, time, and money and speed up your path to success.
Become even more focused. Use criticism as motivation to allow you to increase your focus, drive and commitment to work even harder. Show everyone what you can do. This way you are the one who will have have the last laugh.
Find people who truly support you. Most people wish they had more friends. However, what people really need is just a couple of friends that genuinely want the best for you. You will know who these people are. Bette Midler won Emmys, Grammys, Golden Globes, and many other awards. She stated that the hardest part of winning any of her awards was finding someone truly happy for her.
Cut the critics out of your life, if you can. When you have plans or who do not even support you in what you want to accomplish. There is no room for those people who are not there to support you when you need them. You might be hesitant to cut your critical best friend out of your life, but there’s no reason to hold onto the negative friend when they are trying to hold you back from turning your dreams into your reality.
Change the subject. If you do not want to or cannot cut them out of your life, get your critic talking about themselves or something going on in their own life. People love talking about themselves and whilst they are doing this they may soon forget about criticising your plans. When you have big plans for your life, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of these critics, so as soon as you start to identify them, that is the time to move on.
Remember that most people choose comfort over growth, but they’re secretly frustrated with themselves. Your choice to live a more significant, happier, more fulfilling life is an unpleasant reminder to your critics that they settled for much less. Avoid allowing their issues to derail your dreams.
Go on and follow your dreams!!
If you have problems with critics and you can't get over it by yourself, reach out to me. Let us have a chat and put together a plan to empower you to deal with these issues and allowing you to take the first steps onto the path enabling you to work towards your dreams.
Tony Gordon
Mindset Consultant and Hypnotherapist
www.changingyourmindltd.com
tonygordon@changingyourmindltd.com
https://linktr.ee/acdg1
I am a certified wellbeing practitioner and coach, helping my clients achieve their personal and professional goals. The essence of my work is to facilitate self-growth by helping you identify the core challenges and obstacles in your life, so that you can overcome them with confidence. I specialise in creating personalised plans and providing tools to guide you forward to achieve your desired goals.
