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There is no way to put strategies in place that will prevent this completely, however, it is up to you whether you allow them to have an impact on your life or not.
By implementing specific strategies, you can minimise their impact on your life. Try the following to help you.
Find your purpose in life: An informative video for this is on YouTube; you may have heard about it; if not, watch it. How great leaders inspire action | Simon Sinek - YouTube
When you do something that was very important to you, you don’t care about the criticisms of other people. If they can easily throw you off your path, you might want to consider finding another path. So ask yourself 'Am I living my life purpose?’ If not, determine what you want to do with your life after watching the video.
Understand why most people are being unsupportive. The people that criticise you are often just trying to be annoying. They are the one’s with an issue, not you. They enjoy getting under your skin and being noticed. People are also hateful when you start doing well. It is usually down to them feeling threatened by your success. No one likes to be left behind or face the truth of their own average existence.
Notice that critics are a small part of those that know you. We notice negative feedback more than we notice positive. This has been demonstrated in numerous studies. We think there are more people working against our efforts than there really are. Most people are indifferent to you and your life. It is a human instinct to focus more on negative comments than positive ones. There was a story I remember about Albert Einstein who wrote the nine times table on a chalkboard and made a mistake in front of his class. He wrongly calculated nine times ten as 91. There was an outburst of laughter in the hall because Albert Einstein was incorrect; all his pupils mocked him. But why did they focus on the one he got wrong rather than the 11 he got correct? This shows it criticism can happen to anyone, and it is how you respond to it that matters.
Realise that you are going to be criticised no matter what you do. Whether you become a billionaire, a movie star, teacher, doctor, footballer or sit on the couch all day, there is someone out that will tell you that you are doing the wrong thing. Since you are going to hear negative comments no matter what you do, accept they think that way. Acknowledge that they can have their opinion but do your best to ignore the naysayers.
Respond rather than react. Reacting is an immediate emotional response to a given situation whereas responding is taking a second or two more to give a more thoughtful and deliberate response. Therefore, reacting can be impulsive and does not always lead you to where you want to be but, responding helps you to make better and more positive decisions leading to improved outcomes.
Respond calmly. Avoid giving your critics the pleasure of an emotional reaction. Respond with kindness, and you will often find they soften their criticism or apologise. If you ignore them, they will either become angry or bored.
Use your critics as motivation. While some people are intimidated and deflated by the haters of the world, others can use the negative comments as a source of motivation. Use your critics’ words as fuel for your success. Remember the less you let them impact you the better you will get on and the more it will bother them.
Decide if they have something worthwhile to say. Criticism can be helpful, but only if it is constructive in some way. If you receive specific criticism, consider if it might be true. If so, think to yourself, what could I do differently next time? Adapt your approach if necessary. If the criticism is not helpful, let it roll like water off a duck’s back. You have more important things to do.
Take criticism as a compliment. Most people will leave you alone if you are struggling. You only become a significant target of negative comments if you are doing well. If you are taking a lot of heat, you must be doing something correct!
Avoid allowing the critics in your life to derail your plans. That is exactly what they want! Live your life how you want to without the need for the approval of others. If you are spending your time on things that truly matter to you, the criticism you receive will have far less impact on you. Just remember, if the critics are barking in your ear, you must be doing something right
If you need help to improve dealing with your critics, contact me and we can work together to get you on to your right path.
Tony Gordon
www.changingyourmindltd.com
tonygordon@changingyourmindltd.com
https://linktr.ee/acdg1
I am a certified wellbeing practitioner and coach, helping my clients achieve their personal and professional goals. The essence of my work is to facilitate self-growth by helping you identify the core challenges and obstacles in your life, so that you can overcome them with confidence. I specialise in creating personalised plans and providing tools to guide you forward to achieve your desired goals.
