Many of us were taught to be strong and to keep our problems to ourselves, especially males. We were taught that the world is hostile and that we should practice “survival of the fittest.” Always be strong, man up, and do not show any emotions. Do they sound familiar?
Letting the world know your flaws, weaknesses, and failures is challenging.
We’re ashamed that we’re not perfect, but we try to convince others that we are.
Vulnerability doesn’t come easy but provides tremendous freedom and many other benefits. If you can be vulnerable, it means you accept yourself and don’t need to hide from everyone else.
Use these ideas to practice self-acceptance through vulnerability:
1. Realize that fear is the primary obstacle. The fear of rejection and ridicule are the main culprits. You might also feel that you lack privacy if you let the world see you for who you are. The fear of rejection is a common human phenomenon.
2. Consider when you’re least likely to be vulnerable and authentic. When are you most likely to pretend to be something you’re not? In what parts of your life do you play small? How could you be more vulnerable in those areas of your life?
3. People that allow themselves to be vulnerable are respected. Everyone knows how challenging it is to be open and vulnerable. You’ll gain friends, respect, and admiration if you can find the strength to be vulnerable.
4. People trust those that are vulnerable. When you’re vulnerable, people can see who you are. The fact that you’re willing to be so honest gives everyone an insight into what makes you tick. People find this comforting and can relax around you.
5. Everyone has similar issues and challenges. You might be worried that your weaknesses and concerns will make you seem odd. People are more alike than not. Everyone is struggling with the same issues. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’ll also help others see to their own concerns.
6. Start small. You can make yourself vulnerable in many ways, but not too much! You can up the stakes in time as your confidence and courage grow.
○ Give a sincere thank you and explain why you’re so thankful.
○ Admit a small weakness. You might admit to someone that you’re not very patient, or maybe you’re not organised.
○ Apologise for something that you did or failed to do. Everyone has plenty of opportunities to do this.
○ Talk about a time you failed. Pick a small failure that you can laugh about.
○ Do something in front of others that you’re not good at. Maybe you’re a terrible singer, dancer or bad at a certain sport.
7. Your relationships are strengthened. Being vulnerable encourages others to do the same. You’ll become closer to your friends, family, and romantic partner. Vulnerability creates a more significant and profound bond.
Vulnerability creates emotional risk and uncertainty, but avoiding vulnerability creates other challenges. You’re never free to be yourself when you hide from the world. You can feel lonely, disconnected, and frustrated. Your relationships lack depth.
Learn more about yourself and accept yourself. You’ll need to develop courage and personal insight to be vulnerable. Vulnerability can be frightening, but freeing yourself from your emotional bondage is necessary. If you want to develop fully as a person, vulnerability is part of the cost.
Take one action today to show a little vulnerability. Ask your partner or close friend to do something for you or give you something you need. A ride to the airport doesn’t count! Ask for support or advice.
See what happens.
Tony Gordon
www.changingyourmindltd.com
tonygordon@changingyourmindltd.com
https://linktr.ee/acdg1
I am a certified wellbeing practitioner and coach, helping my clients achieve their personal and professional goals. The essence of my work is to facilitate self-growth by helping you identify the core challenges and obstacles in your life, so that you can overcome them with confidence. I specialise in creating personalised plans and providing tools to guide you forward to achieve your desired goals.
